


i will choose what i believe

by nevershootamockingbird



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Background Relationships, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 09:35:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13924383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevershootamockingbird/pseuds/nevershootamockingbird
Summary: “Kash?” Keyleth’s looking up at his, something like concern in her eyes, and Kash knows he’s staring, but he can’t bring himself to stop. He doesn’t want to stop. He’s tired of trying to.“Let’s go,” he says softly, shifts his weight off the spear and smiles down at her, ignores the fragile feeling in his chest. Keyleth nods and turns, waiting for him to move forward before falling into step with him.He doesn’t move away when their hands brush together.———————In a different timeline, Vesh rises from the ashes of the Chroma Conclave





	i will choose what i believe

**Author's Note:**

> Ah yes, the almost 10k word Kashleth fic about trying to fight Vesh that nobody asked for! I'm showing up 15 months late with Starbucks, but the party's still going, right? 
> 
> Man, I got this idea back in like October and I'm so, so glad I finally sat my ass down and finished it out. This is so utterly self indulgent, and I love it. I hope that you do, too. 
> 
> Here's a different timeline, where maybe people made different choices and things happened a little differently. 
> 
> Vesh isn't a god. But only we know that.

Kash wakes up and knows the world is going to end. 

Ash coats his tongue, heavy with decay, and he cannot breathe, claws are piercing his lungs and howls that are not his own fill his throat and black washes over his eyes, all-consuming and never ending, and Kash cannot survive this, he is going to _die_ , She is going to finally _win_ \--

A piercing shriek rips through his mind, his heart, leaves ravaged thoughts and new scars in its wake. 

When his sense are his own again, the only sounds in the room are Kash’s rattling gasps. He blinks up at the ceiling, fear thick in his mouth, suddenly aware of the missing weight.

He is alone.

Kash stumbles out of bed, flinging his door open and barreling down the castle hall. He doesn’t know what time it is, the glimpses of sky he sees out of the window dark and cloud-covered, but it’s either too fucking late or too fucking early.

He never can get the timing right for her.

“Keyleth!” He’s already shouting as he bursts through her door, never locked because she trusts too easy, too much. Kash watches her jerk upright, nearly falling out of bed, her eyes bleary and alarmed as she looks towards him.

“Kash?” Keyleth sits up further, scrubbing a hand over her face as she starts to relax, eyes more clear as she focuses on him again. “What’s going--”

“It’s Vesh.” He cuts her off, heart pounding as he moves further into her room, reaching out to grab her shoulders. Kash can feel the anxiety roiling in his gut, a living thing of his own making. “I can’t feel Her.”

“What? That doesn’t make any sense.” Keyleth’s brow furrows in confusion, but she’s shoving at her blankets and getting up anyway, not dislodging his hands from her arms. “Kash, what are you saying? What happened?”

“I don’t know, alright! I just woke up and I can’t fucking feel Her, there’s nothing there.” Kash shakes his head, clenching his jaw against an idea that he won’t give voice to. He makes himself step away, letting go of her and crossing his arms. “She’s out. I need--”

“We need to wake the others up.” Keyleth interrupts gently, reaching out to place a hand on one of his arms. Kash swallows the rest of his words back, feels himself relax sightly at the contact.

“We don’t even know where to start,” he shoots back at her, shaking his head before glancing out the window. The anxiety is building again, the eerie silence and absence within him growing more expansive.

“Kash, that’s why we’re getting everyone else, so we can try to make a plan.” Keyleth sounds insistent, now, drawing his attention back with a gentle squeeze of his forearm. Her palm lies warm across the scars there.

He doesn’t think about how they never seem to hurt in her presence.

“Look, princess, I don’t--” Kash stops himself when she huffs out a breath, rolling her eyes as she drops her hand away from him. Keyleth turns and takes a few steps towards a chair with fabric and armor piled onto it, head half turned over her shoulder as she starts pawing through it all.

“Hey, we’re family. We take care of each other,” she tells him simply, and Kash doesn’t think about what happened to his last family. Keyleth turns back towards him when he doesn’t respond, skirt slipping out of her hands as she straightens up. Kash is helpless to look away when she smiles, uncertain and tired, somehow too old and too young as she stands before him in her shift, unguarded and honest.

He could live as long as she will, and Kash knows she would still be the most beautiful person he’ll ever see.

“Let us help, Kash. Please,” Keyleth implores, voice quiet and earnest, and Kash takes a deep breath, lets it out slow, lets go.

“Yeah. Okay.”

 

* * *

 

Zahra perches on the arm of his chair, setting a mug of tea down in front of him. She blows on her own before taking a slow sip, looking entirely too awake. 

“So, are you going to tell me what this is all about now, or do I have to wait?” Her words are quiet, her tail flicking comfortingly against his ankle. Kash shakes his head once and Zahra drops a hand to squeeze his shoulder, then moves to sit in a chair adjacent from him.

They sit together in silence, drinking slowly as their friends begin to join them in various stages of undress and unrest. Grog’s got Pike up on his shoulder, both of them barely remembering to duck under the doorframe, the gnome struggling to pull on her boots. Percy is pushed through the door next, glasses askew, Vex steering him over to the table with a fond smile and a cup of coffee. A few moments later Vax comes trudging in, holding a drooping Scanlan under one arm and an empty mug in the other hand; Kash can’t help the snort he lets out when Vax unceremoniously drops Scanlan next to the table.

After another handful of quiet minutes Gilmore sweeps into the room with a tired smile, running a hand over Vax’s hair as he takes the seat next to him. Another moment passes before Allura comes in, looking too awake and put together already; Kash feels better when he sees Kima nearly walk into the fucking door frame, although he isn’t sure if it’s because she’s tired or if she’s just too busy staring at Allura again.

Keyleth follows close behind Allura and Kima, shutting the door behind herself as she steps into the room. Kash watches as she takes a look around at the people gathered together; he is helpless to look away when her gaze falls on him.

There’s a few more beats of silence, and Kash feels the bile in his throat recede, feels his breathing start to approach some semblance of normal for the first time in almost an hour.

“Listen, Keeks, not that I don’t love spending every waking moment with everyone,” Scanlan starts, his jaw popping around a yawn before he plows ahead, “but will you please explain why in the ever loving fuck you woke us all up?”

“Well, something’s come up.” Keyleth turns her head slightly towards Scanlan as she speaks, but she keeps her eyes locked on Kash. He swallows hard, hand tightening around his mug reflexively; he is unsure how to handle the softness in her stare. “It’s not really my place to say, though?”

“Dear, then how are we supposed to--” Vex leans forward, brow furrowed, but Kash clears his throat to stop her, letting his mug thump down on the table.

“Yeah, uh, my wife got out.” He finally looks away from Keyleth at Zahra’s sharp inhale, glancing at the rest of the table. Most of the faces are slowly registering a sort of low horror, panic, but then he sees a couple incredulous, angry looks and-- ah, shit.

“Sorry, your _wife_? You’re kidding, right?” Kima asks flatly, propping an elbow on the table and raising an eyebrow at him. “Didn’t think you had a fucking sense of humor.”

“I don’t, thanks,” Kash retorts, drumming his fingers absently. He sees Keyleth move closer in his peripheral, exhales slowly before continuing, “I’m married to this god, Vesh. Not really my choice. Sealed Her away after She killed my village, now I can’t feel Her, so.”

More silence, this one drawn out, building a slow tension in the room. Kash drops his eyes down to his hands on the table, skin prickling uncomfortably under the weight of too many stares, too many questions. He’s sort of getting used to people caring about him, to having friends, maybe even family, now, but he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to attention like this.

He thought he was done with attention like this.

“Fuck me sideways,” Percy finally mutters, pushing his glasses back up into his hair before dropping his face into his hands, and the stillness shatters.

Everyone bursts into noise, talking over each other, some gesturing wildly, all traces of sleepiness gone from the room. Kash feels the panic roaring back to life in his brain, tries to clamp down on the reactive anger, clenches his teeth against the acidic words on the tip of his tongue.

This was a mistake.

He shouldn’t have woken Keyleth up, he thinks, shouldn’t have woken anyone up, shouldn’t have agreed to letting anyone else know after he had. Kash rolls his shoulders and grabs the string around his neck, tugging at it with such sudden force that it snaps off. He pulls out Her holy symbol, the one he’s refused to let anyone living ever see, and thinks about leaving alone, tracking Her down and sealing Her away again, attaching Her in a way that She will never leave him again.

Kash thinks about how it nearly fucking killed him last time. He thinks that it is a decision he can live with, or not.

He does not think he could live with anyone else dying for him.

“--shaw? Kash? Hey, anyone in there?” Scanlan is asking when Kash focuses back in, and he grunts in response, twisting his neck sharply to feel the pop and release, trying to ease some of the tension. He drops Her symbol on the table, waits for the room to go quiet again before speaking.

“This isn’t going to be a group effort. Sorry to waste your morning, but you guys can’t do this.” Kash sees the looks on their faces as he talks, disbelief and outrage, plows ahead before anyone can stop him, “I’ll go by myself, I’m not asking you to come. I’ve done it once, I can do it again.”

The words are hardly out of his mouth before the tension in the room snaps.

Grog has pushed away from the wall, glowering and straightening to his full height, but Percy seems to be trying to do the opposite, sinking further into his seat with an exasperated groan. Gilmore and Pike have both stood up from their chairs, bodies taut and full of ire, while Allura has dropped into an empty one, waving a hand as she she speaks rapidly. Voices are overlapping, shouts directed at him, at each other, emotions roiling and clashing.

“Alone? Kash, this better be a joke you mother--” “Are you out of your fucking mind? Seri--” “--hy would we ever agree to that?” “--llshit!”

Kash is pretty sure he hears Zahra snarling at him in Infernal while he tries to keep track of everyone’s complaints, and the twins have slipped into something deep and guttural. He wishes, briefly, that everyone would at least have the fucking decency to insult him in languages that he understands. 

“Look, it’s not like we have a plan! If I go alone, then it’s just me at risk.” His words cut through everyone else, mouths slamming shut and dropping open around him, chests heaving and shoulders tense. Kash gives them all a hard look, hand covering Her symbol on the table. Dread is a heavy pulse in his veins.

“No plan? Please, like that’s ever stopped us.” Scanlan drops back into his seat, crossing his arms in front of his chest like that fucking settles the matter. “We’re the masters of making it work on the fly, buddy.”

“We don’t _want_ just you at risk, Kash. We want to help.” Every word on the tip of his tongue dies as Keyleth curls her hand gently over his shoulder, voice achingly sincere. Kash takes another look out of the room, slower now, and feels his trepidation start to sink away. There’s nervous energy crackling between the group, but all he sees is fierce determination, stubborn jaws and agitated hands, weary strength.

Kash doesn’t think he can ask anyone to die for him. But he’s also starting to think that he may not have much of a choice in the matter.

Zahra smiles slowly as his silence stretches on, relief in her eyes as she settles back against her chair, crossing one leg over the other.

“So? Where are we going to find her?” Zahra asks, fingers drumming on the table as she glances down at his hand. Kash looks down, turns his fist over and opens it, staring at the symbol in his palm. Keyleth squeezes his shoulder gently, prompting him to look up into the faces of these people who are apparently stupid enough to go running right back into danger just weeks after facing down fucking ancient dragons.

Kash has to take a minute to swallow past the lump in his throat, to breathe through the urge to hide. He’s never dealt with affection well.

“I don’t know,” he admits, hand curling back around Her symbol. It gives a faint pulse, and he squeezes tighter, metal digging into his palm. “But I think I’ve got an idea.”

 

* * *

 

“We’re going to make it work, Kash.” Pike’s smile is kind as she straightens up, hands falling away from their clasped position, but there’s a steel in her voice that helps ground him. He nods once, glancing around Sarenrae’s temple before looking back at the gnome, hesitation curling down his spine.

Kash wonders, briefly, what it’s like to have faith with the god you worship. He wonders what it’s like to not fear that they will take everything from you.

He thinks about second chances, and wonders if it’s too late to try.

“I sure as shit hope so, Trickfoot,” he says instead, because Kash doesn’t know how to lend voice to these thoughts. Pike’s smile grows for a second, eyes flashing with something like understanding as she walks forward, hefting her maul up onto her shoulder.

“Everyone ready to go, then?” She asks as he turns to fall into step with her, both relieved and disappointed as the temple doors shut behind them.

“No,” Kash snorts, hand tightening on his spear. The corner of his mouth twitches at her heavy sigh; when he glances over he can see her rolling her gaze up towards the sky. “Walked yourself into that one, c’mon. Are any of us ever ready for this shit?”

Pike huffs a little in response, but doesn't disagree with him. She has to take two steps for each of his, but he doesn’t slow his pace, and the two of them settle into an easy silence.

It’s a little surreal to be walking towards his death, again.

Their friends sit scattered a little ways away, and Kash tries to shake the sense of deja vu, the same people that were gathered to take on ancient dragons, now moving to face a fucking goddess. Pike is humming under her breath beside him, a tune he vaguely recognizes; he thinks he heard Scanlan singing it a couple weeks back.

Kash slows and stops, leaning against his spear as he takes a moment to observe. Pike looks back over her shoulder at him, steps faltering, but at his gentle nod she smiles and continues on.

Up ahead, Vex is rubbing her bear’s stomach like a damn dog, cooing down at him and easily avoiding his attempts to lick her face. Percy and Zahra stand nearby with the ranger’s quiver, heads bent together as they point at different arrows, bumping shoulders companionably.

Keyleth sits with her legs crossed and eyes shut, back pressed against the Sun Tree, her spire laid across her lap. Kash lets himself watch, longer than he would normally allow, and tries to make some kind of peace with his choices.

“We could’ve been pretty good together, you know.” Kash tenses but doesn’t flinch, levels an unimpressed glare at the half-elf that’s crept up beside him. Vax grins, teasing, but there’s something like regret in his eyes as he turns his attention back towards the rest of their friends. He swallows audibly, loosely crossing his arms to curl his hands around his elbows as he continues, “World can’t give us just a damn minute to sort our shit out, can it?”

Ahead, Gilmore and Allura are talking quietly, leaning into each other with grins as they watch Kima. The halfling is gesturing at Scanlan, raised voice exasperated but smile fond as the bard cackles, Grog’s laughter booming out behind them. Pike comes to a stop next to the goliath, automatically reaching a hand out as he scoops her up onto his shoulder.

Kash hears Vax let out a weary sigh, and feels a tug behind his ribs.

“I’m sorry,” he offers quietly, turning his full attention towards his companion. He gives a crooked smile at the surprised look on Vax’s face, shrugging his shoulders. “What? Don’t make me say it again, alright. I just wish I wasn’t dragging you all into this.”

“Don’t be stupid.” Vax frowns, almost sounding offended, shifting his weight as he turns completely to face Kash. The half-elf reaches out and rests a hand on his shoulder, voice gentling as he continues, “You’re not dragging anyone, we’ve all volunteered. And this is hardly worse than what we’ve asked you to do for us.”

“I just--” Vax squeezes his shoulder, and Kash shuts his mouth, hands tightening around his spear. He hears more laughter, voices overlapping, but he keeps his attention on the man in front of him.

“You’re family, Kash. This is what we do,” Vax insists, squeezing Kash’s shoulder again, eyes narrowing slightly and searching his face.

Kash hopes he finds what he’s looking for.

They stand there, unmoving, for a long moment before it’s Kash’s turn to sigh, smiling tiredly at his friend. Vax’s features relax, lips curling up as he drops his hand away.

They both turn back towards the rest of their friends, quiet settling over them like a blanket, and for a minute Kash can pretend that it’s just another day. For a minute, he can pretend that this might not be one of the last times he sees all of these people, his friends, whole and safe and enjoying life.

Keyleth is walking towards them.

Vax gives Kash a wink and a gentle smile before going to meet her, the two of them coming to a stop in the middle, Vax clasping their hands together as Keyleth tilts her head down to press her forehead against his. Kash watches as Vax murmurs something that has her cheeks darkening, but Keyleth just laughs softly as they move apart, fingers lingering before releasing. Kash straightens as she continues towards him, meeting her gaze head on, doing his best to ignore that damn tug behind his ribs again.

She comes to a stop just inches from him, swaying forward briefly before settling back on her heels. Kash exhales slowly, stands still instead of reaching out to close the distance.

“We’re ready when you are.” Keyleth smiles up at him, brushing her hair back out of her face, then cringes as she seems to rethink what she’s said. “Well-- not that you’d be ready for this, of course, not every day you face your wife who’s also a god, but-- oh, not that I’m sure you’re not prepared or anything! I’m sure you are, um, I just meant--”

“Keyleth, breathe.” Kash cuts her off bluntly, eyebrows raised. He snorts when she inhales deeply, ducking his head to try and hide his smile before meeting her eyes again. “It’s alright, I get it. Thanks.”

“For being a bumbling mess?” Keyleth smiles at him sheepishly, curling both hands around her spire and leaning into it, mirroring his position. Kash shakes his head, grinning as he glances away.

“Nah, though that makes it easier for me to be one, I guess. We’re always gonna suck at this, aren’t we?” Kash looks back when Keyleth laughs, soft like a breeze, and he almost tells her to stay, he almost decides to fuck the plan and run, he almost decides to save them all.

“Kash?” Keyleth’s looking up at him, something like concern in her eyes, and Kash knows he’s staring, but he can’t bring himself to stop. He doesn’t want to stop. He’s tired of trying to.

“Let’s go,” he says softly, shifts his weight off the spear and smiles down at her, ignores the fragile feeling in his chest. Keyleth nods and turns, waiting for him to move forward before falling into step with him.

He doesn’t move away when their hands brush together.

 

* * *

 

“It’s a little terrifying, isn’t it?” Vex asks as she sits next to him, tossing a-- hells, tossing an entire chicken over to her massive bear. Kash stops trying to figure out how Scanlan’s weird fucking mansion works in favor of turning towards Vex, narrowing his eyes at her. 

“Going to fight a god? I think I’d go with more than a little,” he finally manages to say, shaking his head. “Fuck, I thought you were the smart twin.”

“Oh, hells, not that,” she says, grinning over at him. “That’s absolutely horrifying. No, I meant being in love, Kash.”

He stiffens at her words, turning his attention back to the fire as a dull heat creeps up the back of his neck. Vex laughs, not unkindly, and offers a goblet he hadn’t realized she was holding.

“Grog started pouring while you were staring and moping,” she explains, waiting for him to take it before resting her elbows on her knees. She looks across the room, and Kash follows her gaze to Percy, the man laughing with Vax as Pike tries to walk in a straight line with his glasses on.

Kash doesn’t know what to say to the soft adoration in her eyes. He looks away to let her have this moment, takes a long drink of ale, stays quiet. Vex sighs after a few minutes, shaking her head before smiling gently over at him.

“Just think about it, alright?” She raises an eyebrow, smile growing as she nudges their shoulders together.

“To what end? So we can be embarrassed before one or both us dies tomorrow?” Kash shakes his head before finishing his ale in one long pull, trying to wash the bitterness out of his mouth. “I’ll pass on the rejection, thanks.”

Vex shrugs, taking the goblet from him, smile fading. Her fingers are trembling as they brush against his.

“Like you said, any of us could die. Wouldn’t it be better to have a little happiness first?” She asks softly, eyes meeting his. Kash swallows hard, opens his mouth to speak, only to have Vex stop him with a shake of her head. “You’re not the only one who’s been looking. Don’t write something off as impossible before you’ve even tried.”

“Vex…” Kash trails off on half-finished thoughts, his jaw clenching tight as he glances down at his empty hands. She doesn’t push, just waits for him to find his breath, his words. Kash finally looks up, gives her a small smile. “Thanks.”

Vex grins wide, clapping him on the shoulder before standing, goblet dangling loosely from her fingers.

“If you think you can stop sulking for a little, we’d love some more company.” With a wink she turns and walks away, skirting around one of the creepy floating servants easily. Kash watches her wander over to where Keyleth stands with Grog and Allura, watches Vex wrap an arm around the other half-elf’s waist and lean in for a sideways embrace.

Scanlan is playing his lute, cracking jokes that Kash can’t hear but have Gilmore groaning and Kima losing her shit next to him. Pike has finally relinquished her hold on Percy’s glasses, but she tosses them over to Zahra instead of handing them back, the two women laughing as Vax slings an arm around Percy’s shoulders to keep him in place.

Kash swallows back the lump in his throat.

His gaze, as always, is eventually drawn back to Keyleth. She’s swaying to the new song Shorthalt’s playing, antlers discarded somewhere with her staff, laugh ringing out loud at whatever Allura is saying. Kash rubs at his sternum, tries to ignore the way his heart beats out of sync.

Vex leans in closer to Keyleth, head tilting up to whisper something in her ear, and Kash feels the breath rush out of his lungs as Keyleth turns to look at him, desire and longing so clear on her face that he’d have to be blind not to see it. Keyleth squeezes Vex’s arm before pulling away, red spreading across her cheeks but smile soft on her face as she walks towards him, stopping once she’s close enough to touch.

Kash swallows hard as he looks up, hand falling away from his chest as he thinks about stolen kisses, new chances, death and life.

He thinks about happiness.

“Need something, princess?” He asks, tongue feeling thick and clumsy in his mouth. Keyleth shakes her head, offering a hand to him. Kash makes note of the freckles on her wrist, magic-stained fingertips, calluses scattered over her upturned palm.

“Want to come join the party?” Her question draws his attention back up to her face, and the stark hope in her eyes makes him come undone. He puts his hand in Keyleth’s and stands, careful to shift his weight as not to drag her down instead.

He doesn’t think about the way her face lights up, doesn’t think about the way her muscles loosen, doesn’t think about the way she darts up on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek.

Her fingers curl around his. Kash reminds himself to breathe.

“Yeah. Okay.” Keyleth tugs gently at his hand at his response, leaning backwards, laughter bubbling out of her throat; they both know she doesn't have the strength to make him budge, in this form.

Kash tightens his grip on her hand so she doesn’t fall when he takes a step closer, then another, following as she twists back around to the rest of their group. She interlaces their fingers, and Kash thinks, head filled with unspoken words, that she could move him anywhere she wanted.

They pass through the light cast by the fireplace, and Kash starts to count the freckles on her shoulders, their friend’s voices growing louder.

Keyleth squeezes his hand, glances back as if to check that he’s still here, smiles when she finds him and doesn’t let go.

Kash keeps holding on.  

 

* * *

 

His eyes don’t want to open.

He doesn’t feel anything at first, and then-- fuck, he hurts. It slams at once, burning pain lancing along his right ribs, a deep ache across his chest, stinging and a strange numbness in one leg. Kash isn’t moving on his own volition, someone’s arms under his armpits, someone’s hands under his knees. It’s uneven, and every other step seems to jostle something in him, a wet cough tearing it’s way out of his lungs and throat.

“Kash? Please, please be awake,” the voice is desperate almost, but familiar, and it’s all he needs to hear to force his eyes open. A tangle of fiery hair frames the face above him, worried eyes widening as his gaze meets hers. “Oh gods, thank fuck, you’re alive.”

“No shit,” he croaks, sarcasm automatic, voice scraping out of his throat like nails. Keyleth lets out a breath of a laugh, twisting her head to check whatever’s around them, and he knows he should be remembering something, they’re here for something. All he can do is watch the slow slide of blood down her jaw and neck, wishing he had enough control over his arm to reach up, wipe it off. “You should take care of that, princess.”

“She should have waited,” snaps an another voice, indignant, equally familiar, and Kash has to hold back a groan as she continues, “for me to arrive with a healing potion for you, you useless asshole, instead of burning another damn spell!”

Memories are starting to seep back in, now, flashes of a plan, a camp, an ambush--

“Put me down.” Kashaw grits his teeth around the words, muscles tensing uncontrollably as the memories continue to flood in. Zahra shoots a hard look at Keyleth above him, but Kash is hardly paying attention, trying to keep his breathing under control as he’s slowly lowered to the rocky ground.

“She’s dead. She’s dead, isn’t She?” Kash looks between the two women, voice hard and demanding. He’s vaguely aware of discomfort as he sits up, but it’s not even a secondary concern to him. He just needs to know.

“Well--” Keyleth starts, tension bleeding out of her shoulders, but she’s cut off by the wild laugh Zahra lets out.

“She’s gone, I swear it. Vesh is gone.” Zahra grins down at him, and Kash can read the honesty in her eyes, knows this is the truth.

Kash can’t feel Her. His brain is empty of thoughts not his own.

“She’s really gone?” He asks again, pushing himself up to stand, because he has to be sure, has to know that this is really happening, that he might finally have some peace.

“Yes! Kash, she’s not coming back this time,” Keyleth insists, smile finally breaking across her face, and Zahra laughs again, throwing her arms around him.

“We fucking did it!” Zahra presses a kiss to his cheek, and Kash grabs her tightly, hugging her back with everything in him. He reaches out to pull Keyleth in, and Zahra shifts easily to make room, accepting the druid into the embrace with delight.

For the first time in a long time, Kash lets himself believe that maybe everything really is going to be okay after all.

Keyleth presses in closer, and something sharp presses into his side, uncomfortable and cold.

Kash pulls back abruptly and reaches under his armor. He fumbles before closing his fist around the holy symbol and bringing it out slowly, trepidation humming under his skin. He opens his hand, and there it lies in two jagged pieces, an empty husk.

Keyleth laughs, loud and joyous, looking lighter than Kash has seen her in months.

He doesn’t think he’s ever wanted anything as much as he wants to keep her looking that way.

Zahra grins broadly, fangs flashing. She reaches into her pouch as she looks back at him, offering a potion.

“We should get rid of that, now. You need to take this first, though.” She shoves it into his other hand, and Keyleth hums in agreement, fire sparking around her fingers as she considers the ruined symbol. Kash closes his hand back around the pieces, uncorks the vial with his teeth then downs the bitter liquid, feels wounds slowly starting to knit back together. “I might have some acid to put on it? Though I quite agree, dear, fire is certainly the best thing for it first.”

Keyleth opens her mouth to speak, then stops abruptly, flames disappearing as she lifts a hand to one of her ears. She cocks her head to the side, nodding absently, and Zahra reaches out gently, opens Kash’s hand and pulls the broken symbol away.

“Yeah, yeah, he’s awake. They’re both with me, we’re all up.” Keyleth’s fingers are resting against an earring, and Kash remember belatedly the enchantment they have, exchanges a rueful look with Zahra. Keyleth hums softly, looking back up as she speaks again, “Can I get a pick up?”

Her hand falls away after another moment, smiling as she looks between them. Zahra holds out the symbol with a slow grin, rummaging through her bag with her other hand. 

“Looks like I was right about that acid.” She sounds gleeful as she pulls a vial out of her bag, tilting it and watching the viscous liquid pool against one side. Zahra drops the broken necklace into Keyleth’s hands. “After you, dear.”

Keyleth cradles the pieces in her hands, smiling gratefully at Zahra before looking at Kash. He loses his breath at the fierce determination he finds in her eyes, the stubborn set of her jaw. The moment stretches between them, and he drops his gaze away, looks down at his symbol in her hands instead. The pieces are shining, jagged edges and ruined twine dark, and there’s nothing but dread in his heart when he thinks about it still existing.

Kash looks back up at Keyleth, waiting patiently for his cue, and nods. Her answering grin is brighter than the fire that bursts to life around her hands. Her skin blackens and cracks, embers bursting off the flames that lick up her fingers, and Kash watches intently as the twine is singed away to nothingness, as the recognizable shapes slowly melt away. After a scant few minutes all that is left is a small puddle of iron, slowly hardening as the flames die away.

“That’s that,” Keyleth says softly, palms turning red under the still heated metal. She glances up at the sky before looking back down at Zahra and Kash, holding her hands out. “Zahra?”

“I’ll take care of it.” Zahra speaks up before Kash can really process the destruction, reaching out to pluck the small metal lump out of Keyleth’s hands. Her face is thoughtful as she kneels down, setting the metal hunk into the dirt, but she smiles widely as she uncorks the vial, tipping the contents over all at once. The three watch with bated breaths as the acid starts to eat away at the metal, dark steam rising as it dissolves. Zahra glances back up after a moment, expression serene. “This will be done, soon. Looks like your ride is here.”

The last is directed at Keyleth, and the druid takes a few steps back, eyes glancing between the two. She looks exhausted, ecstatic, fucking breathtaking.

She looks like she cannot believe that they are still here. Kash knows how she feels.

“We’ll be right back!” Keyleth reaches both hands up as she talks, and then Vax is there, wings cutting through the sky as he grabs her, whooping as they fly off.

Kash sort of feels like he’s been hit with a lightning spell.

“You look rather dazed, darling.” Zahra is smiling as she stands and steps up next to him, brushing her hands off. They watch the other two disappear as Vax takes a sharp turn around the mountain. “I’m delighted to tell you that feeling won’t go away.”

“Probably just blood loss,” he mutters, glancing down to take full stock of the injuries that potion hadn’t taken care of. He lets his gaze wander further, sees nothing remaining in the dirt but a small damp patch where the heart of his wife once sat. It’s over, he thinks, and allows himself a small smile.

Reality starts to sink in after the rest of their party staggers back over.

The thing is, Kash didn’t actually think he was going to come out of this alive. He didn’t expect this, didn’t expect fucking _all_ of them to survive, and now he’s just sitting here, weak and hollowed out and bloody, watching silently as everyone reels in the aftermath.

Grog looks rough as shit, rage slowly seeping from his eyes, sitting complacent and almost dazed as Pikes works on him. Her lips are moving, voice far too soft for Kash to hear, but whatever she’s saying has a grin sliding over his face, is distracting him as a faint glow of divine light washes through his body, flesh stitching itself back together and bruises fading.

There’s a horrible tear in the back of Gilmore’s robe, cloth stuck to his back with heavy weight of blood. He’s holding Vax tight against his chest, head tipped down to speak into his ear as he soothes him; Vax’s face is buried in the sorcerer's shoulder, hands clutching tightly at his robes, singed wings wrapped around them both like a shield.

Vex is flat on her back, one hand still clutching her broom, the other resting on Percy’s thigh. He sits next to her, methodically cleaning out one of his pistols, Bad News set to the side in two pieces. He’s talking, alternatively muttering under his breath and turning his head towards Vex to speak louder, eyes a little wild behind cracked lenses. Vex doesn't respond, but she squeezes his leg, and that seems to be enough for Percy.

Kima is glowering, armor and face covered in streaks of dirt and blood, although Kash really doesn’t know how much is her own. She’s cursing and ranting as she picks debris out of Allura’s braids, the blonde’s hair matted down and crimson in some places. Allura sits calmly in front of the other woman, her own staff and Kima’s Holy Avenger balanced across her lap, small smile on her face even as her attempts to placate fall flat.

Blood is still smeared down Keyleth’s cheek and neck but she pays no mind, tight-lipped and tense as she leans down to shove healing potions into Scanlan’s arms. Scanlan says something, shoulders shaking in a laugh, but Keyleth’s expression just crumples. She drops to her knees, grabs the gnome by the shoulders and shouts at him, tears rolling down her face, hair in disarray and staff lying useless to the side. Kash can’t hear anything over the blood roaring in his ears, but the rest of their friends all stiffen, turn towards the two, Pike half falling off of Grog in her attempt to approach. Scanlan must say something, because Keyleth ducks her head as he downs the potions in a quick one-two, dropping the vials before wrapping his arms around her neck to pull her in. Pike slows, stops, finally looking around to take stock of everyone else.

Kash tips his head down before she can meet his eyes.

Next to him, Zahra is pulling items out of her pack, bandage rolls and ointments, a knife, a carefully bound deck of cards. As the rushing in his ears finally begins to abate, Kash can hear her talking, voice gentle and coaxing, and he realizes that she’s trying to soothe _him_. He stares down at his empty hands and wonders belatedly where his spear ended up, if anyone remembered to pick it up after he went down.

He thinks about the injuries, the hurt, the empty vials and used-up spells.

Kash lets out a humorless laugh, sees Zahra’s concerned look out of the corner of his eye. He hasn’t felt this helpless since he was fifteen, coming to consciousness amidst utter destruction and ruin, a new voice haunting him from the inside out.

His soul is still quiet. He is still alone.

Kash wonders if it is enough.

“Stop it,” Zahra’s tone is mild, but there’s steel in her voice, enough to make Kash look over at her. She’s holding a small pot of salve and reaching out for his arm, pausing just long enough for him to nod before grabbing his wrist. She begins to methodically spread it over his bleeding cuts, speaking as she does, “I can see you thinking, Kash. This was worth it.”

“I’m fucking useless, now,” he says, aiming for furious but falling short by a few fucking miles. He sounds-- shit, he sounds weary, sounds guilty, and Kash shuts his eyes against the sharp flash of knowing in Zarha’s eyes. There’s a low buzzing in his ears; he thinks he might be sick. “I can’t help any of you, and I got you all into this mess, and now--”

“And now,” she interrupts gently, hands leaving his skin before she grabs his wrist again, beginning to wind the bandages up his arm meticulously as she continues, “you let us pick up the slack. We came running into this mess on our own volition, Kash. You’ve already done your part.”

“I can’t help,” he says again, opening his eyes to find her’s already locked on him. Kash swallows hard, tries to trick his lungs into taking in more oxygen, feels a familiar dizziness start to hit. “Zee, I can’t do shit, any of you could’ve died and I wouldn’t be able to--”

“Kash. You are not useless, and you will never be useless.” Her voice is firm, now, and she’s quick to tie off the bandage just below his elbow, quick to reach a hand up to press fingers against the erratic pulse under his jaw, quick to grab one of his hands and pull it up to rest against her chest, their fingers tangling over her heart. Her eyes are boring into his as she speaks again. “All that has happened, all that could have happened, is worth it. You are worth it, regardless of abilities, Kashaw. We did this for you, and we’d do it again.”

The world focuses down to her steady heartbeat, the gentle point of her claws against his neck, the gentle cadence of her words. The buzzing slowly fades, his heart settles to match with hers, his lungs remember to expand on their own again. Kash blinks, and suddenly the sun is lower, much lower in the clouded sky. The world grows again, and Zahra squeezes his hand gently before letting him pull it away, cracks her knuckles before standing and offering her hands to him.

Kash looks around as she helps him up, and, well, everyone still looks like shit, but it’s clear he’s lost more than a little time. Allura’s her hair is still covered in shades of rust, but her braids are neat again; she’s meticulously drawing some designs in the ground, pointing out elements to Shaun as he stands next to her. His robes have been given a rough patch job, rushed stitches meant to just hold the fabric together, but there’s a smile on his face as Allura laughs up at him. Kima and Grog are sharpening their weapons nearby, grinning at each other as they talk, Kima’s armor scattered around them. Pike and Vax are knelt side by side a little ways away, heads bowed in prayer, and Kash only feels a small tug of longing at the looks of relative peace and gratitude on their faces.

“Back with us, dear?” Zahra asks, drawing his attention back to her with a squeeze of her hands. She smiles gently at his nod, eyes tinged with relief, squeezing again before letting go of his hands. “Good. Think you can stay with us?”

“Not going anywhere,” Kash promises, voice rough from disuse. Zahra’s smile widens, and she crouches briefly to gather her supplies, shoving everything but the cards back into her bag. She unties them as she stands, tucking the string away before beginning to shuffle carefully. There’s a glint in her eyes as she straightens back up, and Kash holds his ground but wants to lean away. He knows that look.

“In the mood for a reading?” Her pale eyes flash, lips twisting into a smirk that devolves into a laugh at the glower he gives her. “Relax, relax, the cards aren’t for you today.”

“Thank fuck,” he mutters, but the wariness fades away as she reaches her free hand up to cup his cheek, her thumb sliding over the skin gently. Kash swallows hard, reaches out to clasp her by the back of the neck. “Zee--”

“I know, darling.” She smiles warmly, eyes crinkling at the corners, and rubs her thumb over his cheek again. She steps away when he drops his hand, winking and starting to shuffle the deck again, glancing up to find two moons starting to rise over the horizon. “I’m going to see who needs a little truth before we leave. Shouldn’t be long now that you’re back!”

Kash watches her walk over to Vex and Scanlan, the two sitting in companionable silence, half-asleep as they lean against each other. They stir as she comes closer, grinning at whatever she’s telling them, eyes lighting up with interest.

Percy comes wandering over to them, looking equal parts suspicious and excited over the chance of a reading, and Kash glances over in the direction he came from to find Keyleth standing alone. She’s watching _him_ , Kash notices with a start, her eyes wide and worried, arms crossed over her stomach. Percy looks back over his shoulder at her, says something inaudible before turning his full attention back to Zahra, and Keyleth straightens, squares her shoulders and starts making her way towards Kash.

He walks to meet her, drawn in like moth to a flame.

Her gait is stiff, awkward, and Kash frowns as he realizes that she’s trying to keep pressure off her ribs. The blood has been mostly washed from her face and neck, but the deep cut on her temple is still there, and Kash feels another surge of regret.

“Hey.” Keyleth’s voice is soft, her smile hesitant, as they both come to a standstill. “Um, are you okay?”

“Getting there,” he tells her gently, and he’s surprised to find that he actually means it. Her smile widens, but she doesn’t relax, and he frowns again. “Are you?”

“Well, we’re all pretty tapped out, and definitely out of healing potions.” Keyleth manages a small shrug before wincing, pressing a hand to her side. “Ow. I’ll be fine once we’re back, we’ve done what we can for now. I’m just glad we’re all still here.”

“Yeah,” Kash agrees, distracted, hands reaching up hesitantly. “Hey, let me try something?”

“Of course, anything.” Keyleth smiles, and it makes Kash reel, how much faith she puts in him. He can only hope that he deserves it.

Kash shuts his eyes and reaches down, expecting the same ringing hollowness but hoping to find some kind of remnants, as he places his hands on either side of her face. He’s startled by the warm rush of divine energy that surges through him, hands letting go of Keyleth as the healing spell leaves his fingers, his eyes flying open as he trips back a few steps.

“What the fuck.” He feels raw, but there’s no sense of foreboding that used to come with his healing, no blackness swirling at his peripheral. There’s just his uneven breathing, a not-quite presence, an offering of something gentle and soothing.

“I think it’s a gift? You’ll need to talk to Pike, I don’t know if it’ll last. You know I’m not good at understanding gods,” Keyleth offers with a wry smile, shrugging and reaching up to push her hair back out of her face. Kash nearly gives himself whiplash twisting to find Pike, who’s watching with trepidation and wringing her hands together. He takes a few steps in her direction, looks back down at his hands then back up at her, feels something click into place at the wide grin slowly growing on her face.

“You owe me an explanation, Trickfoot,” Kash calls out, shaking his head, smile cracking across his face.

“Later, I promise! I’m just glad She decided to help,” Pike tells him, making a shooing gesture with her hands. He huffs out a disbelieving laugh, turning back towards Keyleth. She’s beaming at him, cuts healed over and body loose, hand falling away from her ribcage. Kash thinks about happiness, and makes his decision.

“Can I?” He loses his words, loses the rest of the question, heart pounding with something that feels an awful lot like hope.

“What?” Keyleth’s brow creases, then clears, eyes widening as she exhales shakily. Kash swallows hard, hands flexing at his sides.

“I’m asking this time. Can I kiss you?” Kash asks, and Keyleth’s face will be seared into his memory for the rest of his eternity.

“ _Yes_ ,” She breathes out, and she’s already moving, closing the space between them. Kash reaches out to meet her, gathers her into his arms and kisses her hard, desperate and fierce. Keyleth whines when he slides a hand into her hair, and Kash feels fire in his veins.

For a moment, he can forget everything but the way she presses up to meet him, her lips moving insistently against his. 

“Alright, Kiki!” Vax sounds like he’s grinning, but Kash is too focused on Keyleth to care. He tightens his arm around her waist, hauling her in closer, nerves soothed by the way her hands clutch and scrabble, trying to find purchase on his armor. There’s laughter, cheering from around them, but it’s muffled almost, dulled by the utter elation coursing through his veins, the feel of Keyleth real and alive in his arms.

Kash feels lighter than he has in years.

He thinks that it was worth it.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Gilmore says slyly, after a minute or an eternity, and Kash finally pulls away, heart lurching at the way Keyleth tries to follow him up before dropping back down to her heels. She looks dazed, cheeks flushed and lips slick, and Kash can feel the fucking sappy grin on his face but he doesn’t even care. Gilmore clears his throat, grinning broadly as they reluctantly turn their attention towards him, not drawing away from each other just yet. “Sorry, really, but Allura’s nearly finished the teleportation circle if you’d all like to go home now?”  

 

* * *

  

“The hell do we do now, Zee?” Kash leans against her, tapping their tankards together before taking a drink. Zahra follows suit, her tail wrapping loosely around his calf. The tavern is loud, people boisterous and excited, but for once Kash can’t really bring himself to mind.

“Find some happiness and adventure, I suppose. Or in your case, really, just fucking let yourself have it,” Zahra says, words heavy with meaning, and Kash follows her gaze over to where Keyleth is leaning against the bar with Gilmore and Percy, waiting for drinks. Her smile is wide, hands gesturing animatedly, and the two men are grinning, Gilmore saying something out of the corner of his mouth that this two companions breaking with laughter.

“You know, I once said I’d follow you anywhere.” Kash keeps his gaze on Keyleth a moment longer before looking back down at his drink, hands curled loosely around it.

“I recall, dear.” Zahra sounds amused, tail tightening briefly around his leg in a gentle squeeze. Kash looks over at her at the unspoken request, smiling crookedly at her gentle gaze. “You know, I’d follow you, too.”

“Yeah?” He can’t quite keep the uncertainty out of his voice, the hope. He can’t lose her. He won’t.

“Gods, sometimes I forget how stupid you can be.” Zahra gives him a fond smile, no bite in her words, and sets her ale down. She reaches out to tug on his braid, laughing at his drawn out sigh. “We’ll figure it out, Kash. We always do, don’t we?”

“Yeah, okay.” Kash smiles back slowly, huffing out a laugh at the excited, slightly tipsy grin she gives him. He lets his gaze wander when Zahra picks her drink back up, humming absently in acknowledgement when she stands and says something about getting another.

Pike is not far away, eyes soft and smile delighted as she watches Scanlan regale Grog and Vax with some story or other, raucous laughter filling the air around them. Grog seems to be in danger of breaking his chair, but no one pays the situation any mind, too focused on each other to care.

Another table over finds Vex pouring Trinket a bowl of ale, half of her attention taken by Kima, the two exchanging excited words and wide smiles. Allura sits with them, nodding in agreement at the conversation, one hand resting over Kima’s in an easy show of affection.

Zahra now stands between Gilmore and Percy, smile sly, and Kash would bet more than a little gold that she’s trying to convince them to drink something truly awful. His smile slides into a frown when he doesn’t catch sight of tell-tale red hair; he straightens up to take another look over the room, searching for where she might have gone, worry festering in his veins.

“Hey, looking for something?” Keyleth slides into the vacated seat next to him, smile sweet and cheeks flushed. Kash feels his mouth go dry, anxiety slipping away, and he wishes he had anything left in his tankard. Her smile goes a little self-conscious, then, and Kash wants to tell her to stop doubting, wants to tell her she’s beautiful, wants to reach out and pull her close and stop letting go.

“Nah, I’m good, princess,” he says instead, giving her a lazy grin. Kash welcomes the sparks that flare under his skin at her laugh, the way she sways further into his space. “Having a good time?”

“Of course! We survived, and you’re free, Kash. Why wouldn’t I be?” Keyleth grins wide and curls her hands in the crook of his arm, maybe to steady herself, maybe just because she wants to. He hopes it’s the latter. “Are you?”

“You’re here. Why wouldn’t I be?” Kash doesn’t mean to say it, but he can’t fucking think straight when she’s around and the words are out before he can stop them. He can feel the blush creeping up his neck, but he keeps his gaze steady on Keyleth, watches her eyes widen and mouth part.

He’s already kissed her. They’ve survived the impossible, again. Their friends are all alive, somehow.

Kash thinks he can stomach being honest a little more this night.

The flush in Keyleth’s cheeks darkens further, but her smile is blinding, radiant, as she leans closer, brushing her lips against his. Kash kisses her back gently, covers her hand on his arm with his free one.

There is still much to do, he knows. She’s got an Aramente to finish, and he’s got a new goddess to figure out. There’s the fucking rakshasa out for blood again, and they still need to talk, actually talk, about where their futures may converge. Still, he thinks, there’s a tentative peace now, a calm that spreads through his body and mind.

Keyleth sighs against his mouth, lips curling up.

It feels like a promise.

 

* * *

 

Keyleth’s skirts flare around her legs as she twirls, laughing as she spins out, joy spilling from every pore of her body. Gilmore grins as he draws her back in, head tipping down to brush a kiss to her cheek before he twists them both, dipping her low enough that she lets out a yelp, grabbing tight at his arms even as he rights them both with a chuckle.

Kash can’t take his eyes off of her.

The song ends, and so does their dance, Shaun sweeping into an elegant bow. Keyleth giggles and gives him a deep curtsy, graceful in a way that Kash suspects will always fucking surprise him. They part after another few minutes of conversation, and Kash watches as she makes her way towards him, watches as she trips over her own fucking feet and catches herself on the back of a chair. His heart give a painful lurch at her self-conscious laugh, the hunch of her shoulders as she straightens back up and continues on her way, the way the tension all melts from her body as she meets his gaze. Kash smiles, something small and private meant just for her, and waits for her to come closer, setting his empty cup down on the table.

“Do you want to dance?” She asks when she’s just steps away, smile so wide and uninhibited that Kash can’t breathe for a moment, can barely think beyond the absolute love he has for this woman.

“I hate dancing,” Kash reminds her, thumb tapping absently against his cup. He wants to kick himself as soon as the words are out of his mouth, doesn’t want to see her joy fade.

“I know,” Keyleth says, breath leaving her in a rush, biting her lower lip. She reaches her hands out, palms up to him, voice uncertain as she pushes on, “Please? For me?”

“One of these days, I’m actually going to say no,” Kash says, but he’s standing as he speaks, his hands reaching out to envelope hers. Keyleth’s smile breaks over her face like a sunrise, and Kash feels dizzy, feels like his heart is bruised, feels words leave him entirely.

“You know I’m okay if you do.” She squeezes his hands gently, leaning up to kiss the corner of his mouth before turning away, dropping one hand as she leads him further towards the center of the room.

Kash doesn’t tell her that the trust and acceptance she gives him are every reason why he actually won’t. 

Keyleth turns back to face him as she stops, hopeful smile on her face, and for a long minute she is the only person in this castle with him. Kash takes a step forward and slides his other arm around her waist, relishing the way she melts into him. He holds her close, her hand warm in his, and something loosens in his chest when she rests her head on his shoulder. Percy and Vex have thrown one hell of a party, but Kash is relieved that it’s finally winding down, most guests retired for the night. He doesn’t bother paying close attention to the music, content to repeat the same few steps he knows over and over, content to look out over their friends as Keyleth tries not to step on his feet.

The newly married couple are currently in the middle of the ballroom, barely even swaying to the music, eyes bright and voices hushed; they’re twined so tightly together that Kash doesn’t think even Pelor himself could pry them apart. Percy’s smile is ridiculous and sappy, but Vex is grinning too widely to try and make fun like she normally might.  

Across the floor Cassandra is nearly asleep against Trinket, her shoes kicked off and legs tucked up under herself, drowsily scratching at the bear’s ears. Kaylie sits at a table nearby, drawing her into easy conversation, tuning her fiddle as she laughs along to some story or another.

Grog actually is asleep at another table, snoring into his arms, the remnants of a flower crown precariously adorning his head; Zahra is perched up on the table next to him, tail curling lazily through the air, delighted smile stretched across her face as she meticulously applies paint to his nails. Pike and Scanlan, as always, are found not far away from the goliath. Scanlan is singing along to the band, changing the lyrics as Pike leads him in easy waltzes, sneaking kisses between words.

Kima and Allura sit nearby, expressions fond as they pass a bottle of wine back and forth, seemingly taking turns staring at each other and looking around at their friends. Allura is nearly in Kima’s lap, braids piled high on her head, giggling at whatever her wife is whispering into her ear.

Gilmore’s pulled Vax back out to dance by now, holding him tight and leading with confidence, the only one who seems to be paying any mind to the tempo of the musicians. Vax trusts implicitly and follows, smile soft and adoring, cheeks flushed. Kash sighs, thinks that he’s going to be owing Pike some gold pretty soon-- these two will definitely be the reason for the next wedding. He can’t really find it in himself to be upset.

Kash looks at these people, feels Keyleth leaning heavier into him, and offers up a prayer to a goddess who doesn’t want him dead, just wants him to help. He looks at his friends, not entirely whole or unscathed, but still alive after all they have faced.  He looks, and he thinks he might see a future stretching out ahead of them all, hazy and undecided, but there all the same.

Kash thinks about happiness, and Keyleth lets out a content sigh, lips brushing against his collarbone. He doesn’t let go.

**Author's Note:**

> If you finished, thank you so much. I adore Kashleth, I adore Kash and Keyleth and all of Vox Machina, and all of our favorite supporting NPCs. I just wanted to write something that maybe could have been believable. I hope it was.
> 
> If any part of it seems out of character, not cohesive with canon, not cohesive with D&D or Critical Role, I apologize! I still haven't finished campaign 1, but I'm almost there now! I'm pretty new to D&D in general, so there could definitely be mistakes. I'm sorry if anything seemed entirely unbelievable or distracted you from the story! 
> 
> Title is from "Mess is Mine" by Vance Joy, one of the several songs I had on repeat while writing this fic. 
> 
> I'd love to hear any type of feedback if you have the time/energy! If not, that's perfectly okay, too. Again, thank you for reading this. I hope you enjoyed it even a fraction as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> Feel free to come yell with/at me on [tumblr](https://nevershootamockingbird.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/daleytwin1) if you'd like!


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